"HONKU" INSPIRATIONS

BY CAST AND CREW OF "HONK!"

A word of explanation:

A March 25, 2002 article in The New Yorker entitled "The Basho of Honk" inspired the following writings by the members of the Roadside Theater production of "HONK!". As the story unfolds, a home-based website producer became enraged while trying to work, due to the continuous laying-on of horns outside his Brooklyn apartment. In a fury he hurled raw eggs out his window at one driver, only to realize that his act was just as aggressive – if not dangerous. He decided to choose a more peaceful form of protest, penning haikus about honking which he cleverly called "honkus". He began to post these poems around his neighborhood and soon fellow New Yorkers joined the "honku" campaign.

Initially mistaking the title of this article as a review of a Broadway production of "HONK!" (this was The New Yorker, after all), it was an easy transition from the Brooklyn version of "honkus" to our own Roadside inspirations. We invite you to enjoy our literary fun. --Lynn Mattingly, "Stage Mom"

HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK
HONK YOU HONK ME HONK YOU TOO
HONK YOU VERY MUCH
BY LTC ERNIE "THE CAT" WASHINGTON

THE FOLLOWING 3 HONKUS BY HANNAH WASHINGTON AND COLLEEN MATTINGLY
HONK IS A MUSICAL
IT IS A FUN PRODUCTION
IT’S ABOUT A DUCK

THE DUCKS LIKE TO EAT.
THEY EAT A LOT OF CROISSANTS.
DUCKS WILL EAT FRENCH BREAD.

UGLY LOVES TO HONK
HE HONKS EVERY WHERE HE GOES
PEOPLE DON’T LIKE IT!

WHY BOTHER HONKING?
HUMANS HAVE NO USE WITH IT,
BUT DUCKS HAVE A LOT.
BY COLLEEN "A FROGLET" MATTINGLY

ONLY COOL BIRDS HONK!
A CYGNUS BUCCINATOR.
THAT’S WHAT WE ARE CALLED.
BY CPT PETE "UGLY" PERZEL

UGLY, UNATTRACTIVE.
PILLOW STUFFING FOR YOUR HEAD.
SOFT, MAJESTIC SWAN.
BY CPT PETE "UGLY" PERZEL

I’D LIKE TO EAT CAT
FRENCH GUYS ARE SO ANNOYING.
CASSEROLE OF CAT ………..
BY CPT PETE "UGLY" PERZEL

POOR THING. HE CAN’T QUACK
HIS HONKING IS SO DIFFERENT
HE’S REALLY A SWAN.
BY AMANDA "LOWBUTT" PERZEL

THE FOLLOWING 3 HONKUS BY TNIJAH "A DUCK AND A FROGLET" SMITH:
CROISSANTS ARE TASTY
THEY ARE REALLY DELICIOUS
THE BEST IN THE WORLD.

PENNY IS PRETTY
I WANT TO LOOK LIKE PENNY
VERY SOON I WILL.

BILLY, BEAKY, FLUFF
WHAT ABOUT DUCKLING DOWNY?
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

THE FOLLOWING 3 HONKUS ARE BY A "FISH PAINTING" STAGE MOM:
CREATING A FISH ………..
FIN, SCISSORS, FOAM, SORE FINGERS
TO SWIM IN HONK’S POND

STOP IF YOU NEED TO
HONK IF YOU LOVE THE ROADSIDE,
YIELD TO FIND OUT WHY.

HONK! WHY BE SO LOUD?
BEEP-BEEP IS WHAT I PREFER
ROAD RUNNER FASHION.

WHILE I’VE FOUND MY NICHE
PAINTING BLACK LIGHT, GLOWING FISH …….
I’LL KEEP MY DAY JOB!
BY LYNN "STAGE MOM" MATTINGLY

I CAN’T GET ENOUGH,
JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF THOSE
JUICY BALLS OF FLUFF.
BY CARLOS "PINK FOOT" SANTIAGO

THE TURKEY IS LATE
SO GET READY TO ROAST HIM
IF HE’S NOT ON TIME.
BY CARLOS "PINK FOOT" SANTIAGO

THERE’S AN UGLY DUCK
HE GROWS TO BE A SWAN
SO HE’S NOT A DUCK?
BY CORY "A DUCKLING AND FROGLET" RODIS

UGLY IS UGLY
NEVER MIND, HE’S NOT UGLY
AGGGGGH!! OH WAIT, HE IS!!!!!
BY CORY "A DUCKLING AND FROGLET" RODIS

WE MUST BE BONKERS
WE COULD BE PLAYING CONKERS
INSTEAD OF "HONKING"
BY SUE "MAUREEN" LEIBFRIED

AUNTIE MAUR-MAUR’S DAFT
MAKING A FOOL OF HERSELF
BUT HAPPY IF YOU LAUGHED
BY SUE "MAUREEN" LEIBFRIED

HEIDELBERG HONKERS
BEGIN A JOURNEY THROUGH SONG,
BRINGING JOY AND TRUTH.
BY LYNN "STAGE MOM" MATTINGLY

HONKY TONK IS NOT
THE FORM YOU WILL SEE TONIGHT—
REST ASSURED, WE ROCK!
BY LYNN "STAGE MOM" MATTINGLY

THE FOLLOWING SIX HONKUS ARE BY TOM "BILLY" CARBERRY AND PARKER "BEAKY" CRANDALL
HIS SIBLINGS SAY "QUACK!’
BUT ALL HE CAN SAY IS "HONK!"
HE IS JUST . . ... DIFF’RENT.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?
HE DIDN’T CHOOSE HOW HE LOOKS,
BUT HE’S STILL PICKED ON.

DUCKLINGS IN A LINE:
BEAKY, BILLY, DOWNY, FLUFF,
JOYS OF MOTHERHOOD.

QUACK ….QUACK……QUACK……QUACK……HONK!
WHY IS UGLY’S QUACK" SO DIFF’RENT?
ISN’T HE A DUCK?

WHERE’S THE UGLY DUCK?
EERIE MOODS APPROACH THE FARM,
IT IS SO QUIET.

FROM SPRING ‘TIL NEXT SPRING,
A DUCKLING’S STORY IS TOLD,
NOW A HANDSOME SWAN.

BEING DIFFERENT………
LOOKS, DIALECT, SKIN COLOR, SKILL
THE REAL SELF’S INSIDE.
BY LYNN MATTINGLY.

HONK! QUACK! MEOW! PECK!
SPECIAL, YOUNG, HUNGRY, BUSY
COME SEE HONK! FOR MORE.
BY LORRIN "FROGLET" WASHINGTON AND MARY ALICE "FROGLET" GRECO

STAGE MANAGING, AND
LIGHTS, SOUND, SET, COSTUMES, MUSIC . .
ACTORS ....HONK’S MAGIC FOR ALL.
(ANONYMOUS)

THE FOLLOWING FOUR HONKUS BY ED "GREYLAG" OLSON
GREYLAG’S NUMBER ONE
WHO LEADS THE SQUADRON FOR FUN
SERIOUS BUT DELIRIOUS.

BARNACLE’S BODY’S UNIQUE
IT FACES DIFFERENTLY FROM HIS FEET
LOOK, GLANCE ANOTHER CHANCE . . . .

THE BARNYARD IS SWEET
IT’S AS BAD A PINKFOOT’S FEET
QUITE A MESS AT BEST.

THERE’S A SHOOT YOU SEE
GREYLAG, DOT, SQUADRON WILL FLEE
FLIGHT INTO THE NIGHT.

THE FOLLOWING TWO HONKUS BY MARY ALICE "FROGLET" GRECO
THOUGH WE MAY NOT BE
THE BEST DRESSED ON THE FARM, STILL
WE GIVE A GREAT SHOW!

LITTLE DUCKLINGS SAY
QUACK! TO HER GRACE, NOT UGLY.
UGLY JUST SAYS HONK!

I CAN SEE A DUCK
IT LOOKS LIKE A SWAN TO ME.
I NEED NEW GLASSES
BY TIM CLARK

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